I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I'm both gender and math confused
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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