Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
