So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
