I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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