You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
