come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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