Sponge bath it is.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
