How'd it feel making her break her religion?
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize