Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I have post one night stand depression
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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