Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
