lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
