I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
