Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
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