You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
