so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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