careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I wish i was in the wii world.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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