the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize
