yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
