he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
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