so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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