Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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