David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
