I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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