You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
