And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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