A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
