I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
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