Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
