dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
