Non-Jews are for practice
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
You are a booty call, not a friend.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Randomize
