For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
