Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
