why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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