if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Randomize
