But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
