you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
