her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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