I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Randomize
