that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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