But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
