The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
