he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
