just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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