i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
