Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
