We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
