You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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