is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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