I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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