No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
You know, be my cock's hype man.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
