Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
