Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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