her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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