My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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