forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
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