whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
sex in a hospital.. check
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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