in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
