I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I cut my penus on the lid.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
