we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize