did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
