It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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