Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
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