Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
