Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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