If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
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