you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
