singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize
