in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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