I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Randomize
