I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
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