no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Randomize
