words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
