So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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