so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
