just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
