matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
