The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
