there was a trapeze. enough said
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
