its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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