Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
