went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
